Painting through insecurity
Yes well Everything I was working on at the time got permanently shelved. I felt like the only rejected artist to ever exist-a statement that is overly dramatic and false but, it's how I felt. The rejection hit deep wounds.
Let your soul sing loud & proud
I really don't get excited like that to illustrate anything these days honestly. And it caught me off guard, this burning need to draw these plants and furniture. My soul was singing real loud, everything inside of me vibed with this kind of art in a way that I'm mindful of. I think I'll draw some more rooms with plants again, see how my soul.reacts that time. And to take note if things start gaining traction, if anything shows a green light to pursue that path of illustrating rooms with plants in them.
Sometimes it's just a one time drawing need, never to be revisited again. But like I said, my desire to finish this over everything else, even sleeping (which I love to do) made me realise maybe this piece means more than the others do. Something is different here.
What do you draw for your daily practise? Q & A.
Having survived the incredibly humbling experience that it was to start making art again in my 30s. Especially after quitting art for so long…it makes me want to share my story. I hope it helps other former artists, make their way back to creating art again.
I go on artist message boards across the internet and when I feel compelled to, I will share some of my experiences. Sometimes people relate, and they ask me for more details. I had some great feedback on my latest response, so I felt it's good to share here too.
Talking about therapy. It's long.
The right kind of therapy has to be available 24/7. Because the person isn’t always ready to accept therapy. Sometimes it takes years or decades of repeat trauma for a person to open up to changing their lives. Sometimes they really never will change
Work often equals burnout often.
Artistic burnouts are inevitable. Maybe it's just part of the process sometimes. Some artists think these burnouts are career ending.
They're not.
I find that the more you take on commissions and deal with larger amounts of money in exchange for your art-the more likely burnouts will occur and you have to constantly refine your ideas to keep going.
Finding numbers in my abstract painting about grief
One morning, I found myself staring at the Heartache painting, as I often do. It's hung in the kitchen, a high traffic spot in my house. I feel the memory of the rush of emotions each time I see it.
This time however, I picked up on something different about the painting. I noticed there was a number 4 in among the random splotches of paint! A very clear number 4 at that. It definitely wasn't intentional on my part. It was purely random from the paint strokes that happened during the unconscious painting of grief.
Not far below the first “4” discovery, I found a second number 4 in my paintjng. What did this mean? I didn't consciously put it there, and my son wasn't writing numbers yet.
First day off in two weeks
It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks. I had two paying gigs happen at the same time. So I had to split my time between both, and parent (it's summer holidays so no school) and keep the house up and cook meals and so on.
To alleviate some stress, I wrote my to-do list, and cut out the unnecessary things that could wait.
Prioritised my “spoons” and time as best as I could.
Social media numbers game/Celebrate the small wins
With the “Rise of the Beasts” movie hype, and subsequent increase in followers on social media, I was inspired to make a few more pieces of fan art.
Ultimately, social media numbers don’t mean anything. Sometimes they bring sales, but mostly, it’s just a quick dopamine hit.
Touching grass
I mention the tough parts of being a freelancer artist, because it's not discussed enough. There's so much rejection and rebuilding to do for most of us. And if it's not discussed, then we assume that we are the only ones to face such rejection. And it becomes demoralizing and unable to produce art becomes a nasty circle of defeat.
Grieving portrait, pt 2
Also the experience of painting from life vs painting from a still photograph shows the difference between coat color perception and what not. Ronon in real life is very tricolor still, but on camera photos he looks very grey and white. Lighting always plays a large part image perception.
Grieving portrait & artist guilt
This current commission, hits close to home. We knew Hank, he was a dachshund who came into his parents life around the same time my pupper came into mine.
Deep diving into my psyche
It's called "shadow work," and involves "diving into the unconscious material that shapes our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,"
deep diving into my psyche through my art
Class consciousness
The homeless encampments are growing in size, I know of a few families who live in one, in the middle of winter in Canada. This is oh so much more personal than I can explain and it’s really like talking to walls. So many care more about their inconveniences of seeing poor people than acknowledge the problem is THERE SHOULD NEVER BE BILLIONAIRES EVER. NEVER.
SHOP CLOSED ! happy holidays
Shop closed for a month, HAPPY HOLIDAYS if you celebrate!
You can still reach me for any questions or concerns, my responses will be delayed while on vacation.
The art that broke me
So I’ve been trying to expand my abilities again. This time, I’m simplifying the art. I’m not happy but I’m not unhappy. I’m just lost. All artists get lost from time to time.