Gallery wrapped canvas is not too expensive to ship after all.

I had an opportunity to paint a large Megatron and get paid for it. It's the ultimate dream, honestly. Getting paid to create something I already enjoy drawing.

The challenge was, the canvas size and weight.

It's the largest painting I have shipped over the border. Thankfully the client understood and was ready to deal with customs fees and extra shipping costs.

If you've only ever used dollar store canvas, a gallery wrapped canvas is a literal dream to touch and work with, imo. Look how thick that wood frame is. How tight the canvas is pulled. (That wood frame also is why shipping costs jump over $100.00). It will never warp. It's so gloriously solid and sturdy. Also expensive to buy. I picked this canvas on a 50 percent off sale, it still cost $45.00. Shipping it out to its final destination was $150.00, we’re looking at almost $200.00 invested in this, and I haven't even primed or sanded it yet.

The initial color block out. For my personal painting preferences, I do not pre-sketch the image out on the canvas. I very much work in the heat of the moment, and am liable to make changes along the way. I need that freedom to adjust my vision ever slightly to improve the final outcome. I can't explain why I need to work this way, and it looks like lost time and wasted paint to an outsider.

At art college, I adjusted my ways to fit with what the teachers wanted. In hopes of producing more desired outcomes to THEIR preferences.

No shit I didn't do well in school, and I gave it all up for a decade.

It took me forever to go back to the way I had painted for the first 17 years of my life, until the teachers told me it was “wrong”.

Now I paint with great joy, but I still carry some of the shame that my painting technique doesn't happen the way “it should”.

I digress.

I also think my vision changed a little when Ronon died. I think I was pretty distracted with knowing what was coming, and trying to work through the feelings, and not getting too far. This was the point at the painting where he had passed. After he died, and I had a couple of days to recoup, I came back to this painting with a focused determination.

The seeker trine was a challenge, only because I couldn't settle on how I wanted to present them. I knew I wanted Skywarp to be warping, but that was it.

Also the propaganda fists weren't looking right yet, these were two points in the painting that I would struggle on for a bit before settling down. They couldn't be more distracting than the rest of the painting. It had to visually flow together, and it took me a bit to find that flow.

I moved the seeker trine to their final position on the canvas. My heart was singing at this point, this was finallllyyyyy the way it was supposed to look. That “visual flow” I was looking for. My gut feelings and my head ideas were aligned and in sync. This makes finishing the painting easy because I'm no longer warring with myself & my choices.

The final version. I went on to add small details like a cassetticon’s eye peeking out of Soundwave’s chest compartment. Little Decepticon flags for the propaganda fists, things to tie it all together. The client was thrilled with what I painted, and now came the part of packing this up to mail it out.

I use tissue paper, bubble wrap, cardboard for the corners and kraft paper to seal it up. Then it goes into a cardboard box. It may seem excessive but I'd rather it show up safe.

This is my livelihood, so I have to take on multiple commissions in between to pay to exist. I'm so greatful that I get these commissions. I'm just really honestly busy, I don't have time to get my social media updated. Then when I have a moment, I'm either greiving, tending to the house or helping my kids with their projects.

My kids are always responsible for their own art in their projects, I do not interfere. I want them to find their own styles and voices. That being said, there are a few times in a year when the teacher or school will say it's okay for parents to contribute to a kid’s project. Most do so financially. If my kids ask me to, then I contribute with my art. There is no other illustrator parent at the school yet, so for the time being the kids and faculty find my art fascinating and I enjoy their reactions immensely every time.

I helped my son out with his 3D game, it's snakes and ladders inspired, we created 3D roller coasters & waterslides for it.

The passage of time feels unhinged to me. It's all captured in moments like this, and I see what I've accomplished and experienced in the last 5 weeks. I feel mentally exhausted beyond belief.

Lol no time to stop, Christmas is 22 days away and the littlest needs new boots! Going to make using and posting on social media more of a priority in 2025. Somehow. I don't like to self promote, but I can't pay the bills unless I promote. So I just have to get over myself. Onwards and upwards, always!