Forcibly extroverted for the last X amount of days.

A couple weeks ago I realised that summer is running short. That I had to get far more aggressive in my house search. Aggressive meaning replying to realtors within an hour of them sending an inquiry. Not the next day. Some of these houses are rented within a day of the listing being posted. I was too lax on my end, and lost out on some places for not being quick enough. After the initial contact with a realtor about a listing of theirs, there is a constant back and forth dance while they ask for documents and info before you see the place. Then you agree on a time, set up a viewing, and more chatting and then if you don't like the unit, now it's time to find another listing and rinse and repeat the whole deal. Weeks on end.

I also realise it's not how I operate. Being hard of hearing makes any in person conversation complicated on my end. I have to overcompensate when I'm on the phone, which leads to headaches and irritability because I'm overwhelmed and feeling out of my league. I do not like contacting so many agents, and I’ve been doing this for weeks, I'm feeling irritable often from so much talking. Other things I’ve learned is that conservative people will not rent to a purple haired person. Also learned that mentioning disability on my forms also is a big negative, basically if you do not have stellar credit and look and behave like a typical person, it will be that much harder to even get responses on listings you apply to. They side eye my freelance illustrator job, but accept it faster than being on a government disability program.

I was even judged on my email icon lol. It used to be my screaming skull illustration. Now it's cherry blossoms. Guess what the reply ratio is between the two?

Screaming skull icon: ZERO REPLIES. They all looked at my inquiries and never replied.

Cherry blossom icon: 10 replies out of 15 inquiries. Considerable difference in replies since I changed my icon.

I found a few places, applications have been sent. I can't garden at either place, so I'll take my favorite plants from my garden and turn them into potted plants. Or try to.

I will be putting the shop on vacation mode for at least a month when I move.

I will open commissions though when the rest of the shop is on vacation.

There's just so much setting.up and getting adjusted to the new city and area that i’ll be doing, I don't want to worry about printing stuff for a bit. I'll be able to work on commissions without an issue, it'll be the downtime I'll need after the chaos of everything else.

Ronon’s still here, doing pretty ok it seems. Look at my beautiful English inspired garden. 💜

The vet gave Ronon two months max to live. That would make the last day Sept 4th. He could outlive that. I won't put him through surgery, when he goes is when he goes. Maybe he will get to see the next place I move to. He's lived with me at 3 previous places. I get choked up thinking of him dieing before the next place, choked up thinking of him dieing period. Whatever happens happens.

I was thinking of Ronon as I made this. I thought of the pets I’ve had through childhood, cried a bit and worked this out. It's cathartic. This is the full excerpt from the author of the quote.

I apologise if my usual friendliness is kind of cold, or if I'm extra forgetful in replying. I'm focusing on getting the orders out, doing my best to keep things running smoothly. But I'm on autopilot, and barely keeping my head above water. It's been this way for months, this has been a tough ass year .

It's sooooo weird when you've had a major loss in your life, like loss of a parent or guardian figure you loved. It fundamentally changes you. And there was so many hard parts in the early days when I lost my mum. I keep wondering iif I will experience those things with Ronon's passing. I never want to feel that way again honestly. So it fills me with dread everytime I look at him to check and make sure he’s still breathing.

LOOK AT THIS ACCIDENTAL AMAZING PHOTO. When I took it, I didn't do anything different, no filters, didn't set any new parameters. I just lifted the camera up higher than I stood, and blinked blindly into the bright sun and clicked twice. The first photo looks standard. The second one was this one, the sun illuminated a line around the leaves, it looks like an aging filter passed over it. I don't know how this was achieved, I couldn't replicate it intentionally lol.

So please just enjoy this amazing win photo of my black hollyhock plant. It stands roughly 6.2” height.

Plant photo heavy post coming soon! And some art related posts, I have made some things to share.