Social Media Highs, Social Media woes.

Aka the Great Humbling.

Want some humble pie?

The lessons have been coming for me since I started posting art on tumblr, back in 2017.

It all started so innocently enough, I wanted to share what I made. The end.

I didn't know about things like numbers of likes, retweets, dislikes, percieved clout, yet.

I was happily drawing as a hobby artist, when my first viral post happened. We will call it viral for ease of explanation. It was not viral by thousands, it was big numbers for what I personally was used to. I was used to a handful of likes. So my first 100 likes on tumblr, I felt powerful.

I wanted more of that dopamine feel. So I stayed up super late one night, finishing a drawing to post it in time with what was considered a peak time to post. I didn't get the dopamine hit, my drawing was ignored this time. A depression and a predictable art block would ensue. This would stay as a pattern for awhile. Every now and then a drawing would exceed my expectations, and do really well on social media. I'd assume to know why it was popular vs my other drawings. And I would try to draw like that one that did well.

Only to find it wouldn't “perform well” by social media standards. Eventually I would stop seeking the external validation, after years of this painful pattern. It's crucial to not pay attention to social media standards. It really is in part pure luck that some piece of art takes off. Sometimes art can be so perfectly ready for social media, only to just fail simply because people weren't into it at the time.

My cassette art, when I posted it for the first time in 2019, didn't take off so well. It was a small hit with people close to me, but I still internalized the small numbers and reach on social media as a fail overall, and my interest in working on cassettes totally disappeared. Horrible that I would let something externally influence my choice in the art I make. I needed to learn to not care.

In 2021 I made a short silent comic featuring the Mandalorian and Grogu. (It's bittersweet to see “grimlockcustoms” first in the list of people who liked the grogu comic. That was Andrew, my dear friend, literally always one of the first to like my newest art. I'll never see that again. I miss you, bud.

It actually went viral, nearly 5000 likes and retweets etc. I was realllly hyper after that. I wanted a repeat of that so badly, I crafted up a part two to the comic annnnd I stayed up real late in order to get it done in time with the hype.

Only for it to fall flat, practically ignored on social media. I remember this pattern. So I still hadn't learned my lesson then. I was still playing the same stressful “want the likes clout etc by any means necessary even at the cost of my health and sleep”.

So again more lessons of failing and missed moments etc.

I posted this art the other day on twitter.

I didn't check the time, I just posted it when I felt like it. And this went viral. I was in disbelief for most of the day. I didn't get the full high feeling I thought I'd get. Because I no longer seek it externally I get it internally now.

It’s 2023, I’m painting cassettes again for me, because I love them. and guess what? NOW people love it. NOW I get the commissions for them.

TL;DR Social Media and people are fickle. Do whatever you want to do. When you learn to have true love and respect for your own art, the self doubt can’t control you.