Drawing through the emotions

Oh it's a double journal entry day today. Kinda like a double movie matinee maybe?

Creating art is very mood based. Drawing through the pain is a learned practise. Spiritual practitioners agree that being creative and working through the pain, creatively, helps change the energy stored within our body.

You don't want to hold onto heavy feelings like rage swirling constantly within you. Ideally, you work through it. Maybe you dance, maybe you sing. Maybe you do both while painting. Either way, dancing, singing and painting are some ways to pull the heavy feelings out. And turn them into something wonderful.

So on July 3rd, my dog almost died, was diagnosed with congenital heart failure and given 2 months max to live.

On July 5th, I get the news my uncle died. I only have one remaining uncle left lol this is nuts I’m young I shouldn’t have so many relatives just bloody dieing. I’ll talk about him in another post. I look at other families with generations of old people hanging out and lol that's not this one.

OKAY SO, Life doesn't wait. I have art that must be made right now, even when I'm not feeling like I can do it.

So the best way to launch myself into drawing when I really can't is by indulging in something I've wanted to draw for awhile. In this case, I wanted to work on some Danhausen fan art.

Pulp magazines (also referred to as "the pulps") were inexpensive fiction magazines that were published from 1896 until around 1955. The term "pulp" derives from the cheap wood pulp paper on which the magazines were printed due to their cheap nature. In contrast, magazines printed on higher-quality paper were called "glossies" or "slicks". (Definition from wiki)

That is a poster hanging on my wall that I picked up from that show.

I'm a huge fan of all things Pulp, low brow, seventies space cowboy, vintage horror film posters. Danhausen reminds me of a lot of those things, so it was easy to find inspiration.

Then came time for music. “My heart is broken” by Evanescence is a really good song to sing along with. No I can't sing, I can't hear much and what I do hear is vastly different from how it actually sounds. So my singing is extra special. But do I care? Absolutely not. Because the whole body relief I get from singing my heart out in times like this is so worth it.

And for a couple of hours, I was able to zone out and have some genuine fun. Thinking of how I would draw this from a movie poster perspective etc. I love it so much.

And then the timer goes off, it's time for Ronon's meds again. And back to reality I go.

But I feel a slight bit lighter in my chest, because I did something other than be sad for a bit today.

And I feel proud of myself,

The grief won't overtake me.