Oh no my plant is too big. -grief work.
I stick the word “grief” in the titles so that readers who want nothing to do with those posts can avoid them. This post isn't overly sad, but it's still talking on death & loss.
Knowing the costs of renting a moving truck and the gas cost + moving to another city 30 minutes away = more mileage + more fees- I'm really trying to plan the minimum amount of trips and bring minimum stuff.
Easier said than done when some of your grief is wrapped up in attachment to things that the dead left behind.
Executive dysfunction & trolling under the bridge.
Feeling under the weather, making videos and loving graffiti.
Drawing through the emotions
So the best way to launch myself into drawing when I really can't is by indulging in something I've wanted to draw for awhile. In this case, I wanted to work on some Danhausen fan art.
Nearing the end of an era.
All up in my face, that's where Ronon likes to be the most.
Talking about pending pup death.
Finding numbers in my abstract painting about grief
One morning, I found myself staring at the Heartache painting, as I often do. It's hung in the kitchen, a high traffic spot in my house. I feel the memory of the rush of emotions each time I see it.
This time however, I picked up on something different about the painting. I noticed there was a number 4 in among the random splotches of paint! A very clear number 4 at that. It definitely wasn't intentional on my part. It was purely random from the paint strokes that happened during the unconscious painting of grief.
Not far below the first “4” discovery, I found a second number 4 in my paintjng. What did this mean? I didn't consciously put it there, and my son wasn't writing numbers yet.
Drawing through grief
I mention grief on this blog A LOT. I’ve had many people die that were close to me over the last 10 years, and this affects me on a daily basis. Some died from cancer, or an accident, or organ failure. Some were a total surprise, and others were expected. But even when you know that their death is coming, it still hurts hard. Their absence is felt and honestly I’d do anything for one more hug from them again.
✨🍻This one's for you, Andrew. Hope you're laughing and having a merry old time with your dad and niece. Till we meet again brother!💜✨
Grieving portrait & artist guilt
This current commission, hits close to home. We knew Hank, he was a dachshund who came into his parents life around the same time my pupper came into mine.
Deep diving into my psyche
It's called "shadow work," and involves "diving into the unconscious material that shapes our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,"
deep diving into my psyche through my art
Class consciousness
The homeless encampments are growing in size, I know of a few families who live in one, in the middle of winter in Canada. This is oh so much more personal than I can explain and it’s really like talking to walls. So many care more about their inconveniences of seeing poor people than acknowledge the problem is THERE SHOULD NEVER BE BILLIONAIRES EVER. NEVER.
The argument for deep rest
When we force ourselves to march through continuously, the burn out is inevitable. It gets hidden behind other issues that result from the snowball effect into the break down.