Nearing the end of an era.

Crying as I type this, it's nearly 4am and I have to wake Ronon up to give him some meds. He hates the meds.

The meds help clear his chest up, he has congenital heart failure and has 2 months at most to live.

I have to do breath counts, see how much he breathes in a minute and log it down for the vet so they have a baseline of his breathing rate. He goes back to the vet on Monday for an x-ray. He can't stay on one of the meds because it kills his kidneys fast. So they need to know how much fluid he's retaining etc and what they can do without causing him more pain.

He just celebrated his 16th birthday. 16 is an incredible time for any dog. I've been so lucky. I'm not trying to keep him any longer than he can stay. I'm well aware it's nearing his time. I wasn't prepared for how much medical intervention would be needed. He's never liked going to the vet, hates meds, so forcing him to go to the vet so much when he's so fragile and constantly disturb him to give him meds just sucks so much.

He. Was. SO. Excited for the meat birthday cake on July 2nd. His birthday is July 2nd. He ran in circles, devoured everything in moments, went back to lick the plate clean a few times. And spent the rest of the day jumping in my lap to give me so many kisses and cuddles cause he wanted me to know he loved it. And wanted more burgers.

Always more burgers. 💜

Ronon LOVES wrapping paper. Christmas is his favorite time because he SHREDS the wrapping paper like nothing. I'd have to hide the presents from him cause he'd clear them before the kids got to them. Kill the wrapping paper and he did. This pic shows how he'd help the kids unwrap their gifts.

He also loved to wear clothes, he has a Hulk hoodie, Captain America hoodie and a Batman hoodie.

What do you mean that you're only here for 16 years. Who is going to greet me at 4am when I start drawing? Who is going to join me when I'm cooking and dance for cheese and burgers. He loved to put on a show. He loved the first snowfall, every year. He'd race out into the fresh snow and zoom around then come flying back inside because he's so short he always got covered in snow. My 11 pounds of fury and love .💜. Last year was your last snowfall. I didn't know.

Time for your meds buddy, I love you so much. I'm glad to have a little more time with you, even though my heart breaks a little more every day. I don't know what I'll do without you.

I am still packing up my house, still nowhere to go. This year sucks so fucking much.